DH went back to work yesterday, so it's just me and H. I am truly getting into the swing of being the sole parent while hubby is away. It took me awhile and we have had some terrible days and nights while DH hasn't been around, but overall I think I am doing well.
Sure my house may not be as clean and tidy as some and I'm not quite the domestic goodness I imagined I would be with home cooked meals every night and a steady supply of baked treats...but that's ok. It's not important. I'd much rather spend time with my beautiful boy. Housework can wait....the dust isn't going anywhere!
Today was a really good day. Took H to swimming lessons which he loves. He has so much fun splashing around and doesn't mind going under the water at all. It totally wears him out too as he usually falls asleep in the car on the way home and he sleeps for another hour or so once we are home. We spent the afternoon hanging around home. H is really getting his commando crawl on...he is so fast! This afternoon he wanted to be standing up all the time...so I spent a good portion of the afternoon keeping him steady while he played with an activity table I picked up second hand. He was also holding himself up trying to look over the back of the couch so he could see out the window...very cute. Tried something new for dinner...zucchini and pumpkin fritters. H loved them. Every time he finished what he had on his high chair tray he would scream until I handed him another piece of fritter. They were pretty tasty.
Not too much planned for the weekend. We are having a picnic on Sunday for fathers day with my parents and sister. I'm a little sad that DH doesn't get to be here for his first fathers day, but can't change that.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I'm going to dive straight in to the nitty gritty...not blogging has made me keep a lot of stuff in my head and I need to get it out and clear some space.
A few weeks ago AF returned. My first since H was born. It was a bit of a shock. I thought breast feeding would keep her away longer but apparently not. Of course now she has returned all I can think about is baby making!
Firstly, there's the 'oh maybe we might end up with a natural miracle and not need to do IVF for a 2nd child' chain of thinking. I try not to get too caught up in this as I don't want to get my hopes up and get back on the horrible TTC merry go round spending the TWW speculating about possible pregnancy symptoms and then being bitterly disappointed month after month. Yes, it would be lovely if we could be blessed this way, but let's be honest...it didn't happen the first time round and I don't plan on wasting a lot of time playing this waiting game!
Then occasionally my mind flicks to 'another baby?!? NO!!'. I do throw this one around because maybe it would be better to be happy with our beautiful child and move on from the baby making/pregnancy/newborn stage and get on with life. I have a big list of pros for this scenario...but lots of cons too. DH isn't so keen as he would really like to try for another, but has said if I really don't want to go back for a 2nd that he could deal with it. I have always thought I wanted at least 2 children, and for the most part I still think I do want to try again.
Of course this links perfectly to chain of thought #3...'cluck cluck cluck'. I see a newborn and my heart goes all gooey. I look at newborn photos of H and my heart melts. I look back at photos of my pregnancy and my heart aches to go back and do it all again. I still miss being pregnant. I miss my belly. I miss feeling H kicking and moving inside me. I miss sleepy newborn cuddles, miss his little milk drunk smiles...all of this makes me want to get pregnant immediately and experience it all over again!!
And then my mind wanders down the road to fertility treatments. Medications, injections and getting friendly with mr dildo cam once again. The anticipation and nerves I felt waiting to hear if our embabies had survived the thaw. Mood swings and a million other side effects. The dreaded TWW. Do I really want to go through it all over again??? What if it doesn't work this time round? So many what ifs....
So my mind goes round in circles. Chopping and changing from one chain of thought to another until I make myself dizzy. I've talked over, under and around the topic with DH and I think we have come to some sort of decision.
I just need to work up the courage to make the phone call to my clinic and make an appointment. It will probably be a month or two away as my doctor is always extremely busy. There were rumors of his retirement but he changed his mind (thank goodness). In the mean time I'm technically in the TWW (well I think I ovulated just by going off my body's signs) and for once DH was home at the right time. Not getting excited or analysing things though.....
Not yet.
Haha....Once a POAS addict, always a POAS addict.
And my cupboard is well stocked.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
A few weeks ago AF returned. My first since H was born. It was a bit of a shock. I thought breast feeding would keep her away longer but apparently not. Of course now she has returned all I can think about is baby making!
Firstly, there's the 'oh maybe we might end up with a natural miracle and not need to do IVF for a 2nd child' chain of thinking. I try not to get too caught up in this as I don't want to get my hopes up and get back on the horrible TTC merry go round spending the TWW speculating about possible pregnancy symptoms and then being bitterly disappointed month after month. Yes, it would be lovely if we could be blessed this way, but let's be honest...it didn't happen the first time round and I don't plan on wasting a lot of time playing this waiting game!
Then occasionally my mind flicks to 'another baby?!? NO!!'. I do throw this one around because maybe it would be better to be happy with our beautiful child and move on from the baby making/pregnancy/newborn stage and get on with life. I have a big list of pros for this scenario...but lots of cons too. DH isn't so keen as he would really like to try for another, but has said if I really don't want to go back for a 2nd that he could deal with it. I have always thought I wanted at least 2 children, and for the most part I still think I do want to try again.
Of course this links perfectly to chain of thought #3...'cluck cluck cluck'. I see a newborn and my heart goes all gooey. I look at newborn photos of H and my heart melts. I look back at photos of my pregnancy and my heart aches to go back and do it all again. I still miss being pregnant. I miss my belly. I miss feeling H kicking and moving inside me. I miss sleepy newborn cuddles, miss his little milk drunk smiles...all of this makes me want to get pregnant immediately and experience it all over again!!
And then my mind wanders down the road to fertility treatments. Medications, injections and getting friendly with mr dildo cam once again. The anticipation and nerves I felt waiting to hear if our embabies had survived the thaw. Mood swings and a million other side effects. The dreaded TWW. Do I really want to go through it all over again??? What if it doesn't work this time round? So many what ifs....
So my mind goes round in circles. Chopping and changing from one chain of thought to another until I make myself dizzy. I've talked over, under and around the topic with DH and I think we have come to some sort of decision.
I just need to work up the courage to make the phone call to my clinic and make an appointment. It will probably be a month or two away as my doctor is always extremely busy. There were rumors of his retirement but he changed his mind (thank goodness). In the mean time I'm technically in the TWW (well I think I ovulated just by going off my body's signs) and for once DH was home at the right time. Not getting excited or analysing things though.....
Not yet.
Haha....Once a POAS addict, always a POAS addict.
And my cupboard is well stocked.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I am diving back in the land of blogging. It's been awhile but I felt it was time to start again. I tried word press for a little while but it annoyed me, then I gave up on blogging altogether but I've had the urge to start writing down all my thoughts again...so here I am!
Our little man (H) is almost 8 months old. How time flies when you are having fun! He is the light of my life and I am enjoying my time at home with him immensely...I am really dreading the thought of going back to work in January (but that's a post for another time).
H is now on the move (scary) and commando crawling with style. He is so fast! No teeth. Enjoying solids (we are doing BLW) and trying lots of new foods. We do swimming lessons once a week and he is a water baby. I am still breast feeding on demand. Day naps don't happen often, but he's a champion sleeper at night and at the moment he sleeps 12-14 hours!! H is a really happy and relaxed baby and generally just goes with the flow. He is super determined and I think he may be an early walker as he always wants to be moving...
DH is enjoying being a daddy. He is still working away from home. 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. He does miss us both while he is away, but he really enjoys his job. This lifestyle works for us but I understand it's not for everyone. We enjoy his time home and get lots of family time. Last week we went away on a week holiday to the Whitsundays and it was wonderful. Our first family holiday! We all had a lovely time and if DH was working a regular job it probably wouldn't have been something we could have done. It's lovely watching DH with H. They have so much fun together.
And me...as I said before, I'm loving being a mummy. There is no job that compares. I'm due back to work in January but I'm trying to figure out if there's a way for me to have more time off..or just not go back at all. I really would rather be home until H starts school...not sure if it's feasible at this stage but we'll see. I do not miss work at all though!!
My days pass quickly. H and I go to playgroup, swimming lessons and a mothers group meet up once a week. I try and catch up with my sister and parents at least once a week as they love to see H. Then of course when DH is home we spend time with him. And then I need to fit the housework in somewhere too...so weeks fly by!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)