Backwards

I went and had a scan today. I was feeling paranoid and didn't want to wait until my ob appointment.

We saw our little blob with a flickering heart beat. I'm measuring a week behind my LMP dates but with a natural pregnancy I don't think that's really anything to worry about. So my new EDD is the 23/5/2013. I'm abut bummed about going backwards a week, but not much I can do. It also means I was getting positive tests from just past 3 and a bit weeks...how amazing! It really feels like its been forever since I did those first HPTs.

So I'm 5w4d today. Feeling slightly more confident now I have seen the little blob but know that doesn't necessarily put me in the clear yet. Have to wait it out until my ob appointment which is about 3 weeks away. Hopefully the time passes quickly.

Pregnancy symptoms come and go, which does nothing for my paranoia. My sense of smell is incredible which is not so good when changing dirty nappies. I am getting up at least 3 times a night to pee now. Exhausted constantly...and no napping for me this pregnancy as DS doesn't like day naps. By the time his bed time rolls around I just want to curl up and go to sleep! My mood swings are in full swing too. I feel bad for DH as I am being a real bitch but everything he does at the moment seems to annoy the crap out of me!!!! Nothing major, just all these little things which for some reason are now getting under my skin majorly. And I am hungry all the time, but if I don't eat enough or regularly I start to feel nauseous and then I don't want to eat...but most of the time when I do eat, I eat too much and feel sick anyway. So I can't win!

Ahhhh the joys of pregnancy!

Blabber

GP appointment today. She was so excited when I told her. Very sweet!

Had bloods taken and will have results tomorrow. Booked in with my ob now as well. First appointment not until 15th October...feels like ages away but hoping time passes quickly. GP not too keen on early scan so looks like I might not get to see this little one until I'm almost 10 weeks along! If I start to get worried I might push for one though....or if levels aren't as good as what they should be. Trying hard not to be too paranoid though. I held back from buying anymore HPTs today...amazing!! Though I might cave and buy more tomorrow. I just like seeing that line get darker!

DH is home on Thursday so only 2 more sleeps. Can't wait to see him so we can celebrate this amazing news in person!

Symptoms to date:

-tiredness
-slight nausea
-slight cramping
-increased CM
-peeing more frequently overnight
-tender boobs
-insomnia


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Some details

Just called DH to share the news. He's on nights so was just up and getting ready for work.

He was speechless at first (reckon his jaw might have hit the ground too) but once he had a moment to take it in (and realise I wasn't joking) he was pretty happy. He's been having a rough time this hitch so I think this news has really made his day/night. Wish I could have seen the look on his face though!

Feels a bit more real now I've had a few hours to process and I've been able to say it out loud to hubby.

Paranoid side of me is still slightly skeptical and wants bloods taken and an early dating scan...probably silly but I just can't help it. I'll call my GP on Monday and try and get in ASAP.

I still have several HPTs in my possession so of course the POAS frenzy will continue. I actually did an IC this morning and got a very faint line which is what prompted me to go and buy the FRERs. Glad I did as I was driving myself batty looking at the IC and wondering if I was imagining the 2nd line...but the FR is definitely clear. I can hold the test at arms length and see the 2nd line without squinting. And it came up well within the time limit.

My head is all over the place. Can't sleep. Excitement and nerves all jumbled into one.

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Ummmm....

You know in cartoons when a character sees/hears something they can't believe and their jaw drops to the floor?

That's me right now.

Why?

Because I just got 2 lines on a FRER.





Time Warp

AF is due any day. I forgot how crap it is waiting and wondering if she is going to show up. Takes me back to early TTC days before we knew we would even have a problem conceiving or need IVF to make our family. I hate being back in this mind set. Hate that despite promising myself I wouldn't, I am analyzing everything. So stupid. I don't even know what a natural pregnancy feels like. I only know what it's like (in early weeks) with a concoction of medications under my belt.

I still haven't made the FS appointment. I'm worried I will have to wean H as I'd need to do a medicated FET and I don't think the meds would be breast feeding friendly. I am not ready to wean. I don't think H is ready to wean. I don't know how successful we would be at giving him bottles...he hasn't had a bottle since he was a few months old and that had EBM in it.

DH wants to cycle before the end of the year. Part of me agrees and wants to do it ASAP, but weaning is holding me back. I wish there was a way around it. Another friend is looking at going back for a 2nd soon and would be doing a natural FET and her FS has said she needs to not be breast feeding. I wonder if different doctors have different opinions on this!?!

So much still to think about. But the urge for another baby is strong.


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